Sunday, March 1, 2015
The other night a friend texted me that he and some people were going out to X place then to Y place afterwards.
I debated going. I was kind of tired and not really feeling like going out. Then I really thought about it. Why would I choose to go? In hopes of meeting some new people. Fear that I might miss out on something. Not really good reasons. I find the loud bar scene to be tiresome.
In the end I decided that what I really wanted was to do some reading and get a solid night's sleep.
I was glad I did.
The point of this is not to convince you to do or not to do anything. The point is for any invitation or activity, ask yourself why you are doing it. Become more mindful to the true motivations behind your actions and decisions.
Then do what YOU want.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
I read a lot of self help books. I love the concepts of introspection and self improvement. Classic introvert.
Corny as it sounds, I have really been trying to unconditional love and accept myself. As I internalize this self love more and more, I am noticing a few benefits some of which seem counter intuitive.
I accept and get along much better with others. I think this stems from not looking to others to validate me. I can accept their faults and rejection because my self image is not tied to what others think of me.
I do better work. My focus at work is less on pleasing people around and above me and more on doing my job. As a result, my work product is better, and I am more self motivated.
I view others more realistically. Others are much better at most things than I am. Someone is in better shape, smarter than me, better socially. I recognize it, and it does not bother me. This is important, because if you have a low self image, you mentally degrade others' abilities so you feel better about yourself. This has the very negative impact (on you) of not recognizing others' strengths. This can get your ass kicked both literally and figuratively.
It comes down to dropping your ego. You can really love yourself without having a big ego. I think loving yourself REQUIRES you to kick the ego aside.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
I've been reading manosphere / red pill material for several years now. I understood it intellectually, but I think something clicked for me this weekend. My mindset is changing. I am starting to internalize some of this truth.
I met this girl recently while out hanging out with a friend. She seemed very into me, showing all kinds of indicators of interest. I am really not in a place I can pursue this or anything else right now. I texted her this weekend anyway. Not that I was looking to hook up, but I was chasing validation. I just wanted her to text me back, and I was pretty sure she would. So I text her and then put my phone away and crash. I was tired and didn't want to go out anyway.
Next morning I wake up to voice mail and a string of texts from her. Validation shot! So we start texting back and forth. The text conversation gets to a point where I know I have two options for responding. Option 1 is the game response to keep her on the hook, Option 2 is the "beta" response that will almost certainly cool things down. I took option 2, on purpose.
What? Why? How is this a good news story or some epiphany?
Here's where it gets interesting. I knew I was not in a place where it would be good for me to pursue this. I chose to chill things out when I had the option to escalate. I have started to internalize that I have options. I put the brakes on a path leading to external validation for my own personal reasons. I put myself first. If she never talks to me again, I will meet someone new down the road.
This was a very big break for me. I have ALWAYS sweated over the reaction women have to me. I have based so much of my self esteem or lack of it on how women responded to me. Probably for the first time in my life, I walked away from a woman giving me validation. I did it for own personal reasons.
I have started to love and value myself above what others think of me, and this is a very good thing.
One of the things I like about Google Play is they offer free music frequently. Sometimes its new artists trying to get their stuff out there, but sometimes it's bigger names as well.
Recently Motley Crew's greatest hits popped up on Google play as a new release. I was interested, but just not willing to pay $10 for it. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and that album shows up as free album of the week. YES! Quick click and it's mine for free!
It's also a great way to pad your music with the new artists that offer the free stuff.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Last year I started wearing western style boots. Below are some thoughts on the experience. NOTE: I look even better in boots than the babe in the picture above. Humility is one of my greatest strengths.
Boots make you taller. You will gain 1-2 inches in height by wearing boots. This is cool.
Get a half size smaller than you normally buy. All the boots I have tried required a break in period, and after the break in, a half size smaller is just right. Normal size was too big after the break in period.
Depending on the stiffness of the boot, 2-4 weeks breakin period is required. First couple of weeks can be very uncomfortable. Give it a real go before jettison a pair of boots.
After the break in period, get a high end pair of insoles. I like Superfeet.
I think the pointed toe boots look much more stylish than the square toe kind. You can pull darker color, pointy toe boots with suits. I prefer the darker browns. Very versatile - can be worn with dress clothes or jeans.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
I recently read an interesting article on alcohol poisoning at CNN. The article opens with "By the end of today, an average of six people will have died from alcohol poisoning, and it's a "surprising group" that's dying more than any other". As soon as I read that, I thought, I bet that group is a subset of men.
So I continue to read the article, and later on the "surprising group" is revealed: "white men between the ages of 35 and 64 are dying most often from alcohol poisoning. That demographic accounts for 76% of the deaths". I did not expect the age range to be so broad or the percentage of deaths to be so high for that group, but I did peg it as being a subset of men.
This really comes as no surprise. Think about that demographic: white men age 35 - 64. What has been happening to that group for the last several decades? That group has been beaten and abused for decades. They were told a bunch of lies growing up about how to play by the rules, be a nice guy and hard worker and all the goodness of life will be bestowed upon you. They were fed a steady lie of blue pill bullshit.
By the time these men hit 35 or so, they have taken on the responsibilities thrust on them but have not reaped the benefits. They have had their children, wealth and respect taken by divorce. They have been downsized. They are constantly belittled in TV and movies. If they are still married, they are likely in a miserable marriage with some fat, nagging bitch that gave better to others men before she married.
So how does a man cope with this? He self medicates. He bears the weight of the world with zero appreciation for doing it. So he takes a drink. He is despised by those he provides for, so he drinks another. Many have lost hope of ever retiring due to either divorce, downsizing or financial/housing market crashes. How can you sleep with all this going on? By drinking a few more.
I do have hope for the next few generations of men though. Unlike me (I am in that "surprising group"). We were fed a load of shit by our parents and society. No one was around to tell us any different. Men growing up today, they see it played out in real life and they get red pill truth from the internet.
If you are a young man, I give one piece of advice to you: do not ever marry or have children. I go further, do not ever move a woman into your dwelling or even commit to monogamy. You will suffer. This is what I would tell my son.
If you find yourself in the "surprising group" with me, do not let the despair drive you to kill yourself through self medication. Find something, a hobby, interest or charity, to pour your energy into. Do not look for fulfillment in the institutions you were told would give it to you. Make the most of the life you have left. It may not be what you hoped, but we can all find some joy and meaning in the world. Go get yours!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Men often get nervous talking to women, the more attractive, the more nervous.
I have come up with a way to kick the pedestal out from under a woman. I am referring to the pedestal she is on in my mind, not knocking down her ego. That would be impossible and an exercise in futility.
Next time you are speaking with a woman, imagine she is a former prostitute.
Try this out. I am not sure why I thought of this, but I have tried it and it helps me a lot. My nervousness goes way down.
The sad reality is that most women you talk to will have the sexual experience of a prostitute, but that's a topic that has been covered better elsewhere.